This time I was nervous, very nervous. It seemed as if it were a lifetime before the BMIFC people, Lynn (Lynne?) and John, started to lead us in. And the walk backstage seemed to take forever.

We walked through the opening next to the stage seats on the right side of the theater, then walked down a flight of stairs. We were escorted into a room with a couple of couches and we all sat down. Champagne was available for those of us who wanted it, water for the others. The BMIFC gave us little "gifts" - a Manilow store bag, a souvenir champagne glass, a rubber band for the poster they said we would be getting from Barry, a platinum badge, etc... They explained how it would all work - that Barry would be in the room next door. They told us what order we would go in to meet Barry - I was last.

As time passed, they tried to talk us out of our nervousness - without much success. The seconds ticked by - those of us doing platinum began to grow worried about the lack of time before the show started. And as the BMIFC people continued to try to talk to us, we listened less and less.

Someone opened the door just a crack, and growled at us. I couldn't see who it was. But it at least got a laugh out of us.

It was soon my time to be "on deck". Looking back, I remember that I was standing there rocking from side to side. The security guard (Jessie?) tried to talk to me about where I was from - he had ties to Texas, too - maybe he saw I was nervous and was trying to get me to loosen up. But that was wasted effort. I could hear the show music, and I could hear what song was playing. After 100+ shows, I *knew* how much time was left before the show started. And so my nervousness grew.

Then Lynn called for me to come to the next step, which was basically out the door and around the corner. There was a short flight of stairs leading up to a partially closed door. I could hear voices, but not make out what they were saying. I stood there staring at the floor. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see Lynn kept looking at me - maybe trying to assess if I was about to freak out on her? She made a comment to me that I should try to be talkative so he would let me stay longer. That didn't make me feel any better - in fact, it made things worse - because even though I knew that to be true, I also knew that I couldn't do that - and I told her so. I told her that I hadn't talked when I had done this before - Barry had led me through it. And that all I could hope was that he would do the same this time.

While we were standing there, I heard a lady down the hall singing snippets from the show. I thought I recognized the voice as being that of Monica. I asked Lynn if that's who it was - she said she thought so. I kind of half smiled because it was interesting to hear. Lynn kept looking back over in my direction - I couldn't tell if she was looking at me, or if she was looking around me. She seemed to be very antsy, very nervous - as if she were afraid someone were about to come around the corner. Maybe to come get him for the show?

Then the ladies who were in the room with Barry walked out - Barry continued to talk to them as they were leaving, but I honestly don't remember anything he or they said. Lynn motioned for me to walk up the stairs. John met me at the top - he asked me if I had attended several of the BMIFC conventions - I told him I had and he said he thought he recognized me. I remember thinking that it was very strange that we were having that conversation at this particular point in time.

John stepped into the doorway, but motioned for me to stop. At this point, I wasn't nervous any longer. I wasn't calm, either. I guess I was kind of on auto-pilot. I was aware that the wall behind John was lined with people - I'm not sure how many. Someone else said that only John, Marc, and the photographers were in the room. I don't know. I was aware of Marc standing behind Barry the entire time - I never looked at him, I just knew that it was him. And I never looked back at the people along the wall.

Barry saw John and then said, "Okay!!" I was pleasantly surprised to hear the tone of his voice. He sounded genuinely happy to be meeting the next person. Just the tone of his voice made me relax a little.

So I walked into the room and straight over to Barry. I can't remember if he said, "Hi, Dana" or "Hello, Dana" - and I can't remember if he said anything else with that. He shook my hand briefly. The last time I met him I remember his hands being so very soft and warm. This time they were cool, and not so soft - yet, I think I actually liked the way they felt better because they were more real. Funny how so many of us mention his hands and the way they feel.

I wish I could remember exactly, but I believe Barry said "Where are you from, darlin'?" I've always said I would die if he ever called me "darlin" - and now I can't remember if he really did or not. But it just seems that he did. I told him I was from Texas. He looked down at my feet and said something like "I was going to say that I thought those were boots - I thought you might have been like a cowboy coming in here" - gesturing, and kind of swaggering as he said it. I wasn't really sure what he meant - I felt a little self-conscious, as if I were wearing the wrong thing. I just looked down at the floor and said, "Absolutely." Real intelligent answer, right? But still, he seemed so warm and genuine - I didn't worry about it long.

Then Barry said, "So, were you born and raised and all that stuff in Texas?" I don't remember if I responded, or if I just nodded my head. He stepped back a couple of steps. He asked me where in Texas I was from. I told him "close to Dallas", again looking at the floor. He didn't hear me well and said, "Dallas?" I looked up and said, "close to Dallas" a little louder. He repeated it and then asked if I had seen the Dallas show. I said yes. And then he looked at me with one of those cute little boy expressions that he gets and asked, "That was okay, right?" My mouth said, "It was wonderful" - but my mind was thinking "okay??!! it was awesome!".

Then Barry asked me if I had seen M&P. How did I answer Barry's question? Several people had warned me to not tell him how many times I had seen the show. They said it would freak him out. Their advice seemed particularly valid now. I looked down at the floor and said, "A few times". He looked at me for a moment and said in a questioning tone, "A few times?" It was an odd tone of voice - not just as if he were repeating what I said. More as if he knew better.

At any rate, I was determined that I wasn't going to leave it at that - I said the one thing that had popped into my mind over and over during the last 3 weeks when I was trying to decide if I could come up with something to talk to him about. I gave him the answer that I had literally rehearsed in my mind over and over - I said, "More times than you probably want to know about."

Someone in the room chuckled. This was one of the 2 times that I actually made eye contact with him. I don't know what the expression on my face said, but when I looked up at him, he had a look of both concern and caring on his face, as if it bothered him that I would think he wouldn't want to know how many times I had seen the show. It kind of tugged at my heart a little - it made me wish I had been honest with him. But I quickly looked back down at the floor.

The he very softly said, "You must be bored". I tried to look back at him, unsuccessfully. I said, "Never!" And then he continued - he said, "But it's the same show, the same songs and jokes..." This time I was able to make eye contact. I couldn't stand for him to think that I could ever get bored, that I ever saw the same show regardless of the set list. And I didn't even wait for him to stop talking. I just looked into his face, shaking my head and trying to get out the words - but I was stammering the way I normally do when I'm trying to say something that I really want to say - and finally I looked him straight in the eye and said "It's NOT the same."

Again, I don't know what kind of expression I had on my face, but Barry's expression was priceless. For a moment he looked both touched about what I said, but also somewhat shocked that I had interrupted him to say it. And I was shocked at myself, not believing that I had actually interrupted him.

Then Barry moved toward me very, very quickly - so quickly that I really can't remember how it happened and I wasn't sure of his intent. At the time I thought he was reaching for a hug. I'm not sure what made me think that, other than we simply fell into one.

And then someone laughed - it might have been Barry - I'm just not sure. But I remember thinking that I must have misjudged him and that he wasn't reaching for a hug. I felt foolish and quickly started to back away. But as I did, he grabbed me, putting both of his arms around me and pulling me in for another hug. And that's how they snapped the official photo. I have a genuine smile on my face, but you can also detect that I was blushing slightly. Barry looked happy - so I hope that means that I didn't really make a huge mistake by giving him that hug. Whether he intended to give me a hug in the first place or not, he definitely saved the moment for me by pulling me in close for the photo.

They snapped the photo, Barry let go, and then as he started to step back he said, "What do you do in Texas?" I again looked at the floor, and told him that I worked at a community college - and then I looked up at him and added, "I work with computers". He looked over at someone in the room and said, "Computers, huh?"

Then he quickly turned to the posters and began to sign one for me. He said, "I should be on stage right now." - not in a cold way - it was more in a silly, joking way. No one in the room said anything - I did steal a quick glance at Marc and saw a smile on his face. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to respond to Barry, or if he was even talking to me. He had kind of a smile on his face, too - and he said again, "Shouldn't I be on stage?," exaggerating that tone of voice even more. Again, no one said anything. So he asked, "How much time?" Someone told him 7 1/2 minutes. The smile on his face was getting bigger for some reason. As he finished signing the poster he said, "7 1/2 minutes!", further exaggerating that tone. Then he turned to me with a smile still on his face, faking panic with his voice, mannerisms and facial expression, and exclaimed, "7 1/2 minutes!". I, of course, grinned at him and he grinned back - and I turned to leave as he handed me the poster.

As I turned, one of his bodyguards (I think Adam, not sure) was standing almost right on top of me. It frightened me. I wasn't expecting him to be there, and I wasn't sure why he was standing so close to me. He was smiling, but I still wasn't sure if he was there to protect Barry from me, or if he was just there to walk Barry to the show. Again, Barry saved the day - because as I looked up in fear at Adam, Barry reached for my arm to stop me for a second, gave it a little squeeze, and said, "Thank you for donating to the charity, Dana."

I stepped around Adam - John was standing there with the disposable camera and a very apologetic look on his face - I soon found out why - he had only snapped 7 shots and none of those came out. In fact, no one who did platinum that night had any luck with their candid shots. I was the only one who went home with no candids, though - the others did manage to salvage 3 or 4 shots each, even though they were very poor quality.

Just like in 2004, I had mixed feelings as I was walking back out to the show. It was over and the odds of it ever happening again are so very slim. But at the same time, I was remembering that Barry seemed genuinely happy to meet me. Both times there was a confusing mix of emotions afterward.

And then, for no apparent reason, this stunningly beautiful blonde woman walked up, knelt down in front of me, put her hand on my arm, and said, "Didn't I see you in the elevator today? Weren't you wearing that TGIF - Thank God I'm Forgiven" T-shirt?" I looked at her with what I'm sure was an incredulous look on my face and nodded that it was me. She smiled and said, "I just wanted to let you know that I love that shirt - it was just beautiful." It was a totally out of the blue event that can't be explained - but it absolutely must have had a meaning - if for no other reason than to shake me back to my senses.

Almost a month later, I'm very happy with the night. When I think about turning around and seeing Adam, it still bothers me a little that I might have been too forward - but then I look at the photo and think that I must not have made such a huge mistake because Barry would have never given me that second hug. He definitely wouldn't have had that grin on his face in the photo.

It was a lovely experience. My perception of him hasn't changed since 2004. Well, that's inaccurate. It actually has. Barry seemed even more genuine this time, very sweet and very warm and very kind. I think I described him as a "beautiful soul" in 2004. I still think that description fits. I just feel it even more strongly now.